I received a massive wake-up call over the weekend after attending one day of Quakecon2012 here in Dallas. In a blind stoke of luck, Jens Matthies (better known as a lead developer for Starbreeze Studios/Id) sat down across from me to have a cigarette break. He is a concept artist, among being a game developer. He made me hang my head in utter shame regarding my lack of information in the industry, as well as what little reason for having no motivation I have. Swell guy - by no means was he stuck-up or rude about it, even though he could have been and I think it would have been valid.

The point is: wtf am I doing? People don't get places in the art industry by sitting on their asses, feeling sorry for themselves. Maybe I don't like my own art - okay, no artist does. That doesn't mean that I should stop. The problem I have, and that I have been having, is that I don't know where to go from here regarding studying. I know what I need to work on, but I don't know how. It's been like this since I left high school and fell out of reach from the only dude who has ever taught me anything significantly useful.

I need help. I need resources. I need a community that I can respect more than DeviantArt. It's a great place to go to talk casually, but the community that actually offers insightful feedback is tight-knit. That, and you have to have stone skin in order to maturely receive criticisms. I need real help, not just a vague comment here and there. So, my question/plight to you, dear visitor is this: do you know of a place I can go that is capable of helping me grow? Perhaps a place with workshops, design jams, or classes that I don't have to sell my soul to afford? Or, if you are someone who has achieved something solid in the art world, would you be willing to talk a few things out with me (like digital tools, color theory, perspective, and geometric figures)?

For years I've been wondering if this is the right path for me. The art world is vast, and there is an abundance of exceedingly talented people populating it. There is no demand. The people around me say that it's nigh impossible to earn a good living as an artist, and that I will struggle day-to-day for the rest of my life. But you know what? I believe it's that kind of talk that sloughs off those of us who can't cut it. Why should I stop fighting? Why can't I be one of those amazing people? I don't think I'd mind sacrificing my day-to-day lifestyle if I can truly bring something into this world capable of cracking some skulls open (if only to cram something they have never seen or dreamed of seeing inside).

I'm a loaded cannon. I just need a direction to fire at.